Just say it's normal. That should fix the problem!
You: Hey, my Clutch is notchy and hard to shift, what's the problem?
Infiniti / NIssan: It's normal. You are driving a high performance vehicle. It's suppose to be notchy.
You: My car burns oil. What's the deal?
Infiniti / Nissan: It's totally normal. You are driving a high performance vehicle. If you're not burning oil, you're not driving it right.
You: My compression rod bushing is cracking at just 15k miles. What's the deal?
Infiniti / Nissan: That's normal. When driving a high performance vehicle, things break.
You: But, didn't Infiniti issue a TSB on the bushing? Replacing it with a redesign bushing?
Infiniti / Nissan: Yes, but that's not the point. Our designer didn't take into consideration that this is a high performance vehicle. We only do short therm testing for the vehicle. After all, you're driving a high performance vehicle. Thing's are suppose to break.
You: My window motor stopped working. This is the 5th this this has happened. I don't have $100 to fix it because I bought a Nismo bodykit and some spent another $100 to make my roof look like a Scion. What's the deal?
Infiniti / Nissan: Yes, we hear that a lot. But you don't need be concerned. You are driving a high performance vehicle. Since the car is so fast, it causes the motor to get loose over times and fall apart. But it's totally normal. Don't be surprised if you have to replace this every month. We have a special on this window motors. For only $500 a year, you get unlimited replacement on this motors. Would you like to sign up?
You: I'll pass. I have another question. I was driving on the highway and my sunroof flew off. WTF is up with that?
Infiniti / Nissan: LMFAO. Seriously? Hold on. Let me contact corporate..........
15 minutes later. Yes, I see that this is normal. You are driving a high performance vehicle and things break. What do you expect? Just because the name is Infiniti doesn't mean it'll last infinitely. Rest assured that we stand for quality. If you can find the sunroof that flew off, bring it back here and I'll have my tech superglue is back on. Don't worry if it's broken in tiny pieces. We can glue it all back together good as new.
You: Uh, but I want a new Sunroof glass.... I don't what my shit looking ghetto as fuck.
Infiniti / Nissan: To late for that. I see you have GTR overlays on your tails and a body kit that doesn't fit properly. You car is ricey as shit. Now, if you want a new glass, you'll have to pay for it.
You: How much?
Infiniti / Nissan: Let me see. Ok, here it is. For the glass, you're looking at $3,500. Since we don't sell just the glass, you have to buy the entire rail, headliner, and basically the entire top half of the car.
How will you be paying for this?
You: I'll pass. I'm saving up for my cold air intake. How about I find a glass at the junk yard? How much would labor cost?
Infiniti / Nissan: For labor, we charge $55 an hour.
You: Sweet! Another question. My AC comes on for no apparent reason and my radio stopped working? Can you fix this?
Infiniti / Nissan: Fix what? It's totally normal. This is a high performance vehicle. But, the issue with this is the Bose unit. It's defective. You can't blame us for that.
You: But you said it was normal? I drive a high performance vehicle?
Infiniti / Nissan: Correct. It's normal for our cars to break down and fall apart. Infiniti means you'll end up here at the dealership Infinitely because our cars break down a lot.
You: I see. Also, my car overheats and my fans aren't running any longer. I noticed that there was a recall for the fan motor. Can you fix this for me?
Infiniti / Nissan: No. The recall is for 2004+. You drive a 2003. What you asking for all this free shit? You a fucking socialist? You expect Infinti to pay for everything?
You: Well, I'm 16 and I don't have a lot of money. I thought I was getting into a "Luxury" Vehicle. This car was made in Japan. What is it breaking down so much.
Infiniti / Nissan: WTF? You a fucking tool bag or what? Haven't you been listening? You are driving a high performance vehicle. It's suppose to fall apart.
You: I see. Well, can you tow my car back to my house. I don't have money to fix all the problems. I just bought wheels and body kits and it's just sitting in my room right now. I don't have money to buy tires yet and to get everything painted.
